PAIN IS A POTENT TEACHER

PAIN IS A POTENT TEACHER 

"The disempowering problem with eliminating painful memories is that pain is often 

our most potent teacher."

Peter A. Levine, PhD. Trauma and Memory

 Most of my dreams have a car in them.  I believe this car is me, moving through life. 

 

 

               Car                  Anxiety,              Pain

 

        

 DREAM: The pain is so great I wake up. (September 17, 1994 - Four years and seven months after my memory returned.) 

I am working in a detention center for teenagers who have problems.  We set up a gestalt exercise where each person plays a different family members.  The exercise we set up is about learning how to let go of family members. Different people in the family must take turns practicing letting other family members go.  Each person is to say goodbye and then that person walks out a door, and that represent their departure.

I am in a family and I play the father.  I must let each family member go, including my wife.  One at a time I let my family members go.  There is a teenage daughter I am talking to. I think I let her go, or I was talking to her about the fact that she must go. I agonize over having to let my wife go. I don't want to. I am sitting in my car and I won't let her go.  Finally, she comes over to me. I roll down the window of my car and give her a big emotional hug, and say, "I love you so much I can't bear to let you go, but I am going to have to."  At this point, she walks across the room and out the door.  The moment is so agonizing and so painful that I wake up with a severe pain in my chest and feel extreme stress.  

 

What is going on in this dream?  My interpretation is that my unconscious is telling me to put aside my past (not forget it) and move on with my life.  Family members represent different aspect of myself that I must let go of in order to heal. When I had the dream, I was in the process of obtaining my master's degree in counseling psychology, and working at a group home for troubled teenagers. If this was your dream, how would you interpret it? 

While living in San Francisco, one of the ways I was able to bought balance to my life was through my photography hobby. I spent many hours camping alone in the wilderness.  Throughout my blog, I will include pictures of me during my camping and photographic adventures. 

 

On the way to Pt. Reyes

This is a big week for me.  I have sent out six query letters to agents.  This is my first step toward getting my book published.  I have also written a 24-page proposal. This proposal is very important as most agent ask for it along with the query letter, or at least shortly thereafter, if they are interested. My proposal has seven parts: Book Overview, Biography, Testimonials, Contents, Chapter Summaries, Market Comparable, Marketing and PR. It was a big project.  I'll let you know what happens and report comments.

Here is the first list of agents I have sent a query letter to:

Stephen Barr, of Writers House.  He wants "unexpected memoirs with itchy voices," and ask for a query letter and the first five or ten pages of the manuscript. He says he will fire back within two weeks. I love the enthusiasm he excludes in his website. 

Suzannah Bentley, of Janklow and Nesbit Associates.  She is interested in memoirs with "feminist themes, historical settings, and sharp characters who make me want to turn the page, and something a little dark, raw, and gritty."  She wants a query letter, and the first fifty pages of my manuscript.

Sharlene Martin, of Martin Literary and Media Management. She is looking for new writers and nonfiction books adaptable to the screen.  She has a long and impressive resume. 

Eve MacSweeney of Fletcher and Company.  Eve wants "narrative non-fiction titles that speak to her interest in emotionally driven stories, singular voices, and compelling social issues, particularly as they concern the lives of women." She wants a query letter and  the first five to ten pages of the manuscript, and she will reply within four to six weeks. 

Jeff Herman, of Jeff Herman Agency.  I first learned about Herman through his book "Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors and Literary Agents." This book is full of useful information, advice,  and details of literary agents, publishing conglomerates, independent presses, and freelance editors. He says he is interested in any book he thinks he can sell. But what got me was a picture of him working in his office.  He looks like a nice guy.    

Grand Central Publishing. Grand Central is a company under the Hachette Book Group and is a major publishing company in the industry.  They do not require an agent and are interested in all genres. They request a short overview of your book and the completed manuscript.  

Onward and upward.