THE SLEEPING MONOLITH

THE SLEEPING MONOLITH

Charlotte Delbo, describes her dual existence after Auschwitz: [The] self' who was in the camp isn't me, isn't the person who is here opposite you.  No, it's too unbelievable. And everything that happened to this other 'self,' the one from Auschzitz, doesn't touch me now, me, doesn't concern me, so distinct are deep memory and common memory...without this split, I wouldn't have been able to come back to life."
 

Holocaust Testimonies: The Ruins of Memory, 1991

 

 

 

DREAM: The Sleeping Monolith. (April 9, 1989. Five months before my memory returned.)  

I am entering the kitchen of my apartment and on the kitchen stove are three lighted gas burners. I say, "How can it be that these burners are on?" I have the feeling someone has been in my apartment and it makes me nervous. There is a window and it looks out into the garage. As I lean over to look through the window, I see  a cream-colored car. I realize I can control the dream.  It has become Lucid. 

Even though I am afraid I say "Alice, go through the window and look at the car. You don't need to be afraid." I am very careful because I am not sure what it is. Nervous, I move slowly. Suddenly, the car becomes a huge granite monolith. It has a face carved out of the stone and is similar to the stone statues of Easter Island. As I move clockwise, it floats counter clockwise in front of me. All the time I am telling myself to "take it easy." I wake up.

I believe this dream depicts my dissociation from the reality of my abduction. My unconscious is sleeping, but it is preparing me for what is to come. Four days after I had this dream, and five days before my memory returned I had another called, "The Magnificent Great Wall." I write about this dream in my book. It graphically recounts  my denial of my past. 

I read the book, Aku, Aku, by Thor Heyerdahl when I was twenty-one, and was fascinated by his story of the Moai monolithic statues on Easter Island. Islanders believed these statues represented the spirits of their ancestors who watched over and protected them. I have also watched a couple of documentaries about these statues on PBS and the History Channel.The story of these stone statues must have enthralled my unconscious, and therefore used them as metaphors in my dream.

Heyerdahl's book inspired me to read another, Kon-Tiki, about his raft trip across the Pacific ocean in order to prove his theory that it was possible. Both books were fascinating and enjoyable reads.   

 

I VISIT ITALY

I visited Italy four times when I lived in New York. I wanted to learn Italian. A ticket on United Airlines cost $99.00.  

This picture was taken in 1970 when I lived in Milan for a month. I stayed at the Hotel Lido, where I met many business men who wanted company for dinner. I had a date almost every night with interesting and accomplished men. This photograph was taken on the patio, at Ninos, a small family restaurant. I was invited by a man named Alfred Roth. He trained Lipizzaner horses for a living and was famous for his ability to teach them to "dance." He was in Milan on tour with his company. At the time, Lipizzaners were not well known in the United States as they hadn't yet toured here.You can see these horses performing on YouTube.

This friendly "gattino," jumped on my shoulder, at Ninos, and provided a great picture. 

 

Onward and upward.