AN OVERVIEW OF MY BOOK

ABDUCTED: MY STRUGGLE TO REMEMBER

"Without my dreams, I would still be age eight, dissociating from the shock of what was happening, and remembering nothing."

I was abducted when I was eight years old and sex trafficked. The abduction lasted several months and was followed by hospitalization and testifying in two trials. At the time, professionals advised families not to talk about these experiences, and my family complied. As a young teenager, I began repressing the memories and was able to live a productive and exciting life until recurring nightmares began to expose elements of the trauma. What my unconscious had kept secret for 41 years finally re-emerged.

The horrendous experiences I survived took place mostly in Los Angeles. I was subjected to terror, emotional manipulation, physical abuse, and even drug dependency to make me compliant as a child prostitute and in a pornography ring. I was found during a police raid—by accident—and was turned over to the FBI who facilitated my return home. Because of what I had experienced and seen, I was called to testify both before a grand jury and in the trial of a child pornographer.

Despite all I’d been through, I finished high school, graduated from college, and worked for many years in New York City while also studying and performing opera. Later, after 14 years managing the training division of the San Francisco Opera, I found myself mentally exhausted. Nightmares became more frequent. Along with therapy, several experiences jogged my memories. Meditation and dream study pointed me toward my journey to remember.

As my memories returned, I sought confirmation and support from my family, but found none. After my father died, I moved in with my mother, hoping she would help fill in the missing pieces, but she remained in denial until her death. Never receiving validation of my truth was and continues to be painful.

Nonetheless, I returned to school, earning a master’s degree in counseling psychology. After many years working with foster children, I felt compelled to share my story, for my own healing and to validate those who have suffered similar experiences. It is unlikely I will ever fully be whole, but the process has brought me to a poignant place of acceptance.

PTSD is prevalent in our society and my book will be of interest to a wide readership of those who suffer from it and those who want to understand it better. Memory repression is also of interest as the psychological community continues to disagree on the subject. The study of dreams is an expanding industry as people around the world meet to discuss their dreams, and as scientists work to discover what dreams have to offer. Those interested in organized crime will also be fascinated by that part of my story. Although a few books have been published about survivors of child sex trafficking, my experience of being kidnapped and trafficked by organized crime is unique, as is my process of memory recovery through dreams.

It is my hope that my honesty and the graphic details around my abduction and my subsequent struggles will encourage survivors to find joy in living and help other readers understand the long-term effects of childhood trauma. I want the world to know in explicit terms what happens to children who have been sex trafficked for use in this unholy global enterprise. Childhood trauma is not a life sentence. Indeed, survivors can forge purposeful, productive, and rewarding lives despite the horrors of their pasts

You will be able to purchase my book on Amazon by Mid-March 2024.